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My way

I did it, my way!” – Frank Sinatra

Being a black sheep at 15 is complicated and demanding.
It’s complicated because strange dynamics are created with your peers. It’s demanding because making your voice heard at that age isn’t always easy, especially if you’re also shy and a bit of an introvert like I was.
Being a black sheep at 20 is like testing the world to find your way. It’s still demanding, but the world begins to make sense, even when you don’t always know which way to go.
Being a black sheep at 30 is a totally different story. You realize that in the end the only person that’s really important is you, despite your insecurities, and that if you don’t decide to really listen to yourself so as to understand what you want, nobody will do it for you.

I can still remember my 5 high school years, months spent trying to conform, trying to be like the others and trying to get them to accept me. Without succeeding. At the time I was a black sheep who tried to disguise herself by dyeing herself white.
They made me believe that thinking with one’s own head was a positive thing. They convinced me that if I listened to others, they too would listen to what I had to say. They told me not to judge and promised me a seat at their table.
But when I disagreed with them, all my convictions collapsed, like a sandcastle by the sea.

I cried, suffered, asked questions I had no answers to, and cried again. Without understanding why I couldn’t be and couldn’t come across like the others.

I can still remember when I went back to my old school. I was 19 and went to see the maths teacher. Yes, because we black sheep have always liked maths!
And I can still remember vividly her description of me when I was in high school. She was the first one to call me “black sheep”. She was the first to give a completely different meaning to these words. She made me stop and think that being a black sheep means being a voice out of the chorus and that’s okay. She made me understand that there was nothing wrong with wanting to be different, even if it’s certainly more difficult.

So here we are. I’m a black sheep and proud of being one.
If we meet and you ask me for an opinion, rest assured that I’ll tell you exactly what’s on my mind, for better or for worse.
If by chance you want to judge me for what I do, for how I do it or for what I do not do, that’s fine, but bear in mind that if it’s not constructive criticism, I’ll hardly listen to you.
And if we have friends in common and you want to talk bad about them, remember that I’m the wrong person to talk to.

However, if you want to have a few laughs, share your experiences or listen to what I have to say, then here I am. Come look for me.
I lost friends on this path called life. I fell numerous times, I was wrong, I got up and fell again.
I always picked something up when I got back on my feet, trying to treasure it.

With all this in mind I don’t know if I’ve done or will do the right thing.
I don’t know the absolute truth, and so I don’t know if my actions have made any sense or not; time will prove someone right. But I do know something fundamental: everything I’ve done, I’ve done it my way. Without compromise, without regrets.

Like a true black sheep.
Because there are so many ways to be a black sheep, and I’ve found mine!

Flavia Piantino Gazzano
flavia.gazzano@gmail.com

Digital enthusiast and growth hacker, with a strong passion for new technologies, social media and PR. She uses strategic communication as a strong asset in her life and has a creative approach to problem solving.

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SHARING
is
CARING

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